I've lost it!

So, I have to tell the world something. I have lost it. I have had it with not fitting in my clothes, feeling uncomfortable when I'm in a chair and my fat roll looks even worse. I have had it with feeling tired and worn out, but not knowing why. Truth be told, I am tired of looking in the mirror and feeling like I will never be happy with how I look. I am done. Today is the beginning of a new me. I am laying it all on the line and I want to be the healthiest me I can be. I don't want to explain to my daughter that I am not skinny like she is because I can't put down the bread. I don't want to get angry any more because the clothes I fit in 2 weeks ago feel uncomfortable. 

So how did this snowball happen?? What made me change my mind?? Shorts. A pair of pink shorts that I wear all the time. Well... I should say, WORE all the time. I went to put them on and they don't fit. I looked like a whale stuffed in a tube sock. It broke my heart. This is not me!! I don't know this girl and I don't like it!! No, it wasn't really JUST the shorts. It was that I don't feel good anymore. I am tired. My body aches. I have headaches. My joints hurt and I am sad when I look at myself. I seriously want to CRY. 

I looked at my husband and said, I'm MISERABLE. And then I had a spark of insane genius... DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I can't blame anyone but myself for my condition. And YES being over-weight is a very serious condition. We've all heard the line "fat and happy" really, there is no such thing. You really don't feel happy inside when you have to pay more for the x on your shirt size. And you REALLY don't feel happy when you sit in a booth at a restaurant and the table touches your belly. You feel like CRAP. 

I don't have it all figured out. But I am going to try! Dog-gone-it! I am GOING to do THIS! I want to be healthy. I want to play with my kids and I REALLY want to walk without my legs rubbing together. I don't want to be SKINNY. I want to be healthy. Its not a number that will make me happy. Its the energy and the clear complexion. 

So here we go.... Day 1 starts tomorrow. I am sure that I will fall every once in a while, but I WILL get back up and DO THIS!!!!